Hello to Goodbye

Dear Joker,  It’s easier now. It’s easier to move on, knowing that you’re not ten minutes away from me, knowing that I can’t call you in the middle of the night. I have promised myself I won’t cry anymore. I put your hoodie beside my pillow so I can wake up to the smell of…

LONG ISLAND ESCAPE

Have you ever just wanted to escape from your reality? I have wanted this for a while now; to just go away for the weekend and not have any worries. The idea is to go to the beach for the weekend, enjoy the waves and the breeze, smoke, dance and have amazing sex. I was…

DIGNITY OVER ONE-FIFTY!

So I have been single for almost two months. The moment I became single, the hawks swooped in, vying for the ‘new boo’ position. If only they knew! I am going through a phase where no one and nothing excites me, except the ex (even that one has issues). No one seems worth the stress….

Moroccan Laughter

This is not a love story. It took me months to write this. I was not ready, but now I am. Just before I start this, I would like to say that Tinder isn’t exactly the place to meet sane, sensible people. I’m not saying everyone on it is crazy, but most are. In my…

THE DAY I WORKED TILL SEVEN

I shouldn’t write this. Even as I write, I can hear my boss fumbling around in his office, trying to settle in for the day. He was late, of course, but he would leave late, as usual. Even as I write, I ask myself if I will stay late on purpose today as well. I…

WHITE WINE AND LONELY NIGHTS

I fell in love with white wine a while back, probably because I can drink four glasses, feel high af and not have a stupid hangover later on. It may be the quality of the brands I drink though. It was one of those nights where the world just feels empty and you know a…

SEX AND LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS 

So the other day I took a test online and the result says I’m a sex addict. Judging from my lifestyle recently, it’s easy to believe and accept, and as they say, acceptance is the first step to recovery.  I love sex. Now, this isn’t strange as a healthy percentage of the population loves sex…

I TOUCHED A GIRL 

It seems I live for Friday nights. I was out last Friday night and for some reason, Lagosians decided to celebrate halloween. Copycats.  Met up with some friends at Oriental. I was late and everyone was upset so the night didn’t start so well. Hello? I got there as fast as I could. My badly fixed…

GOODBYE GIDEON 

Life has been a whirlwind these past few weeks. I don’t even know where to start. I’d like to share this particular story with you though. I met a guy via Tinder. His name is Gideon. For our first date, we had dinner at Double Four, Lekki. All through my meal, he didn’t stop staring…

THREESOMES (Part 2)

Sometimes I imagine a threesome with another girl and a guy. The girl is always Crystal and the guy is called Freeze. I am out with Freeze who I am seeing casually. Very casually. We go to a strip club and I meet Crystal. She is not one of the dancers. No, she’s there like…

THREESOMES (Part 1)

Sometimes I wonder what a threesome would feel like. Would I like it better if it was a two guy- one girl gig or a two girl – one guy gig? Sometimes I imagine it with two guys whom I have named Ben and Tony. It starts this way: I’m sitting across Ben and Tony…

MASSEUSE MUSE

“Hmmm” I moaned, loving the feel of his palms on my back. I was getting a much needed full body massage from this hot, toned masseuse at this lovely spa in Ikoyi and it felt like a piece of my favorite candy. His hands were gentle yet firm and he had set this rhythm that…